Well I don't see you doing that. Holding onto you like this is exhausting! If you're going to do something shouldn't you be doing it -
[ It doesn't even occur to her that he won't stop their fall because, vampire. But she's cut off, not by the surprise that they were in fact falling, but because his lips were on hers.
The weight of gravity practically presses her lips to his. Her eyes widen and just as they hit the ground, she has just enough common sense to flatten her hands against his back pressing them even closer. She pulls back a hair's breadth, eyes still wide like saucers, brain just white noise but all too aware about his aversion to physical intimacy. ]
[Hilda you can't say no vampire nonsense and then expect vampire nonsense!
They've both made it weird now. Alucard for breaking the fall by just taking the fall, Hilda being a good friend and well aware that Alucard and physical intimacy is something he's still working on getting through. What it results in is the dhampir just staring at Hilda, wide eyed and not wanting to shove her off but absolutely feeling awkward about the situation and--
--he tries to focus on the thing they're supposed to be doing.]
[ * No vampire nonsense unless it means it could save them from this exact scenario.
Despite being clearly flustered she lets out a tittering laugh. ]
I'm sorry – yeah, a draw sounds good.
[ She has the sense to scramble off of him, righting herself. When she's up on her feet she extends a hand out to him to help pull him up. By the time he's on his feet, she's smiling like nothing had ever happened. That's the best way to address it, right? ]
Did you want to go again? Or maybe it's food time?
[THERE WAS NO FINE PRINT IN THAT CONVERSATION cut a dhampir a break Hilda!!!]
Best out of five?
[At least he didn't offer to be up for as many rounds as she was as i almost typed. Alucard takes the offered hand, happy to totally ignore what just happened. And vowing that Jaskier is soooooo not finding out.]
One skirmish does not count as a sparring session.
[ You should have looked closer and read the fine print before clicking accept on the terms and conditions, sorry!
Hilda can't help the immediate look of incredulousness on her face at his suggestion. ]
Best of five? Why not best of three or something?
[ Regardless of what they decide to land on, it’s clear by the end that she’s tiring. Months of not properly training and keeping up her stamina with a weapon in her hand shows. Objectively however, it’s clear that her body still remembers what she’s supposed to do and the axe still feels like an unfortunate extension of herself. The last round sees her splayed out on her back staring up at the sky. Her chest heaves and she can feel a bead of sweat begin to form in her hairline and trickle down her forehead.
The feel of it only spurs the whine that wrenches from her lips. ]
I’m exhausted, please tell me it’s dinner time now.
[It probably isn't a surprise that Alucard looks fairly put together in spite of the length of time they've spent romping about. There's a little sweat that means his shirt clings to his chest, but he's not panting. Not falling over. Nothing seems to remotely bother him, he might as well have gone for a walk in the park.
His sword is sheathed, and Alucard offers Hilda a hand up.]
[ At the confirmation she lets out a weary little cheer and a half-hearted fist pump to the sky.
Of course he looks fine. He looks fine in every sense of the word on any given day, even when he looks disheveled in the middle of a desert. She tries not to look too envious when he steps into view, and definitely brushes away the intrusive thought about what it would look like if he were more sweaty.
The offer is tempting. But as she takes his hand she gives him a bat of her eyelashes trying to look as pathetic as possible. ]
How about you just carry me instead as part of my consolation prize for losing so badly? I think my legs are jelly after that last round.
[ Obviously she had hoped he'd say yes but hoping that is a little different from actually having it happen. She tries not to look too surprised before nodding. Holding her axe is a small sacrifice if it means not having to walk after a training session.
Hilda pulls the axe across her lap, blade pointing away from Alucard before looking towards him expectantly. ]
[.......................oh he didn't think this was going to.
Wait.
He should have absolutely expected it, what is wrong with him.
Picking Hilda up is like carrying a pillow. It is easy to just scoop her up and wait just long enough so she can adjust the axe. Then he starts walking, the intended destination being the office he shares with Jaskier.]
This second part is not going to be a regular occurrence.
[ Bluff calls bluff, Alucard. Did you really think that she wouldn’t capitalize on an opportunity to be cradled close to someone’s well defined chest?
The way she settles right in with a not-so-hiddden smile on her face as they walk through the streets of Cadens looks something akin to a smug cat.
The faux-innocence of her voice could either be endearing or nauseating. ]
Are you sure? I think we should add it in as a consolation prize for all future training sessions. We can’t really expect the loser to have to walk all the way home after losing so badly, right?
[ She gasps, looking mildly offended at the suggestion. ]
You'd like that, wouldn't you? But there's no way I could actually beat you in a fight even if you lost on purpose.
[ Also losing on purpose is her thing. He needs to find his own thing. ]
Also, how would I carry you? You're so much taller than me.
[ Said as if she hadn't carried Claude after a particularly long training session or when she had found him snoring and hunched over a table with books surrounding him. It is do-able - but she isn't going to let Alucard know that. ]
[He grins, smug, and keeps moving forward. This really isn't a problem, but it's more fun to tease about failing to account for Alucard throwing a match.]
If you're so worried about carrying me, then don't throw out suggestions someone that aren't equitable to all parties.
[ To say that she looks completely unimpressed with the thought of something that she can absolutely see him doing is an understatement. ]
That's hardly the gentlemanly thing to do! Even if I could carry you, don't you think that would look silly? You don't want to look silly, do you?
[ She shifts slightly in his hold, mindful of the position of her axe. Her protest draws the looks of several of the locals as they pass by but she pays them little heed. ]
If you think about it that way, I'm really just adding to your mysterious yet dashing vampire image.
You're moving the goal posts. This isn't about looking gentlemanly or silly. It is about who wins and loses, and nothing else.
[This is so dumb. And yet he keeps going.]
No. What you're doing is risking me walking into the office only for Jaskier to see this particular arrangement and to give us both hell until the end of our days.
I don't even know what goal posts are, you can't hold that against me.
[ Hilda, for one, doesn't care much about how dumb this is. She's fully committed to this argument and she intends to win it because there is no way that she is going to carry Alucard over a lost bet. ]
Jaskier is all you're worried about? I mean, I suppose being his business partner and friend being worried about that makes sense, but I'm neither of those things to him.
[ ...So in other words it's really just an Alucard problem. ]
What would he even say? And, if you're really that worried about it, you can put me down just outside the door of the office. That way he won't be the wiser.
First of all, you can infer meaning. Secondly, of course. Say you have a friend where you live on a reliable back and forth, and you're caught doing something either ridiculous or something that can be teased about into perpetuity. Would you let that chance slip away?
[The answer is no, and don't try lying to him Hilda.]
I am not in the habit of giving out low hanging fruit that is practically on the ground.
[ That only prompts her to grin a little wider, cheekiness edging into her voice as she dons the airheaded delicate flower act she's so used to wearing. ]
I don't know what infer means either.
[ She does, but it's more fun to act like she doesn't if it means riling him up a little more. ]
I probably wouldn't, no. But Jaskier seems like the type of man who does plenty of ridiculous things, so you could probably do the same thing right back to him. And besides this [ She motions to him holding her. ] isn't that ridiculous. How could he tease you about helping a hapless flower?
Hilda, all three of us know that you are absolutely not a helpless flower. Jaskier is also aware of my romantic shortcomings and I expect would be overly encouraging if you follow my meaning.
No! I'm sorry, please don't drop me. It would hurt so much.
[ Immediately her eyes go all gooey and misty at the possible threat. Her body immediately tenses at it too and she holds onto her axe that much tighter.
Her brief wiggle of protest which would probably result in anyone but someone with an extremely firm grip or a vampire ceases. She blinks several times confusedly. ]
You don't even like me that way. And wait - you really think of it as a shortcoming?
I won't, but you know those eyes don't work on me, correct? I can make bigger and sadder ones as a wolf.
[Wiggle or no, Alucard keeps moving on.]
I do not, but it is a cleaner label than me rehashing everything. And I've told him that I think I might be at the point to consider romantic endeavors again.
[ That doesn’t mean she won’t stop trying. And he has yet to see her actually turn on the waterworks so just you wait, Alucard.
The sad eyes linger for just a brief second longer before she dispels them with a roll of her eyes and a pout. Like sees like, apparently. ]
That’s not fair! Of course a wolf’s eyes are going to be bigger and cuter than mine.
[ The pout is two-fold however. Namely, it’s aimed at the shortcomings label. She shifts her hold on the axe to free up a hand and gives him a gentle flick on the chest. ]
Just because it’s cleaner doesn’t mean it’s right. Don’t call it that. [ That next bit though - curiosity sparks in her gaze. ] Really? That’s great, Alucard! Is there someone you have your eye on then?
Hilda, I offer this to you as a friend: you need to get a better line of defense that doesn't rely on fairness. It is a better argument and a better guilt trip.
[Hilda did...did you just flick his tits? Really?
Give him a minute to look baffled about that. It means his response to the question will look baffled too, but little problems.]
Feeling ready versus feeling that there's something to act on are two different things. So no, there's not. And if there were, maybe I would feel less prepared than I hypothetically do.
She can't help her grumbled response that sounds suspiciously like how a real friend would just let her get away with it and therefore excusing her from the responsibility of needing to find a different defence. ]
Okay, fine you got me there. You just got my hopes up that you had a little crush on someone.
[ Because as her good friend knows, there's nothing she loves more than some gossip. ]
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[ It doesn't even occur to her that he won't stop their fall because, vampire. But she's cut off, not by the surprise that they were in fact falling, but because his lips were on hers.
The weight of gravity practically presses her lips to his. Her eyes widen and just as they hit the ground, she has just enough common sense to flatten her hands against his back pressing them even closer. She pulls back a hair's breadth, eyes still wide like saucers, brain just white noise but all too aware about his aversion to physical intimacy. ]
Oh – uhm.
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They've both made it weird now. Alucard for breaking the fall by just taking the fall, Hilda being a good friend and well aware that Alucard and physical intimacy is something he's still working on getting through. What it results in is the dhampir just staring at Hilda, wide eyed and not wanting to shove her off but absolutely feeling awkward about the situation and--
--he tries to focus on the thing they're supposed to be doing.]
I think this is a draw?
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Despite being clearly flustered she lets out a tittering laugh. ]
I'm sorry – yeah, a draw sounds good.
[ She has the sense to scramble off of him, righting herself. When she's up on her feet she extends a hand out to him to help pull him up. By the time he's on his feet, she's smiling like nothing had ever happened. That's the best way to address it, right? ]
Did you want to go again? Or maybe it's food time?
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Best out of five?
[At least he didn't offer to be up for as many rounds as she was
as i almost typed. Alucard takes the offered hand, happy to totally ignore what just happened. And vowing that Jaskier is soooooo not finding out.]One skirmish does not count as a sparring session.
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but it does let us handwave further fighting]no subject
Hilda can't help the immediate look of incredulousness on her face at his suggestion. ]
Best of five? Why not best of three or something?
[ Regardless of what they decide to land on, it’s clear by the end that she’s tiring. Months of not properly training and keeping up her stamina with a weapon in her hand shows. Objectively however, it’s clear that her body still remembers what she’s supposed to do and the axe still feels like an unfortunate extension of herself. The last round sees her splayed out on her back staring up at the sky. Her chest heaves and she can feel a bead of sweat begin to form in her hairline and trickle down her forehead.
The feel of it only spurs the whine that wrenches from her lips. ]
I’m exhausted, please tell me it’s dinner time now.
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[It probably isn't a surprise that Alucard looks fairly put together in spite of the length of time they've spent romping about. There's a little sweat that means his shirt clings to his chest, but he's not panting. Not falling over. Nothing seems to remotely bother him, he might as well have gone for a walk in the park.
His sword is sheathed, and Alucard offers Hilda a hand up.]
I'll even carry your axe for you.
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Of course he looks fine. He looks fine in every sense of the word on any given day, even when he looks disheveled in the middle of a desert. She tries not to look too envious when he steps into view, and definitely brushes away the intrusive thought about what it would look like if he were more sweaty.
The offer is tempting. But as she takes his hand she gives him a bat of her eyelashes trying to look as pathetic as possible. ]
How about you just carry me instead as part of my consolation prize for losing so badly? I think my legs are jelly after that last round.
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Alucard wordlessly extends both arms and crouches down low.]
Very well. But then you're carrying your axe.
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Hilda pulls the axe across her lap, blade pointing away from Alucard before looking towards him expectantly. ]
Ready when you are!
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Wait.
He should have absolutely expected it, what is wrong with him.
Picking Hilda up is like carrying a pillow. It is easy to just scoop her up and wait just long enough so she can adjust the axe. Then he starts walking, the intended destination being the office he shares with Jaskier.]
This second part is not going to be a regular occurrence.
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The way she settles right in with a not-so-hiddden smile on her face as they walk through the streets of Cadens looks something akin to a smug cat.
The faux-innocence of her voice could either be endearing or nauseating. ]
Are you sure? I think we should add it in as a consolation prize for all future training sessions. We can’t really expect the loser to have to walk all the way home after losing so badly, right?
no html tags cat is hogging my arm..........
[He asks it with just as smug a tone.]
Is the cat Hilda
You'd like that, wouldn't you? But there's no way I could actually beat you in a fight even if you lost on purpose.
[ Also losing on purpose is her thing. He needs to find his own thing. ]
Also, how would I carry you? You're so much taller than me.
[ Said as if she hadn't carried Claude after a particularly long training session or when she had found him snoring and hunched over a table with books surrounding him. It is do-able - but she isn't going to let Alucard know that. ]
she is some days
[He grins, smug, and keeps moving forward. This really isn't a problem, but it's more fun to tease about failing to account for Alucard throwing a match.]
If you're so worried about carrying me, then don't throw out suggestions someone that aren't equitable to all parties.
yes good
[ To say that she looks completely unimpressed with the thought of something that she can absolutely see him doing is an understatement. ]
That's hardly the gentlemanly thing to do! Even if I could carry you, don't you think that would look silly? You don't want to look silly, do you?
[ She shifts slightly in his hold, mindful of the position of her axe. Her protest draws the looks of several of the locals as they pass by but she pays them little heed. ]
If you think about it that way, I'm really just adding to your mysterious yet dashing vampire image.
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[This is so dumb. And yet he keeps going.]
No. What you're doing is risking me walking into the office only for Jaskier to see this particular arrangement and to give us both hell until the end of our days.
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[ Hilda, for one, doesn't care much about how dumb this is. She's fully committed to this argument and she intends to win it because there is no way that she is going to carry Alucard over a lost bet. ]
Jaskier is all you're worried about? I mean, I suppose being his business partner and friend being worried about that makes sense, but I'm neither of those things to him.
[ ...So in other words it's really just an Alucard problem. ]
What would he even say? And, if you're really that worried about it, you can put me down just outside the door of the office. That way he won't be the wiser.
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[The answer is no, and don't try lying to him Hilda.]
I am not in the habit of giving out low hanging fruit that is practically on the ground.
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I don't know what infer means either.
[ She does, but it's more fun to act like she doesn't if it means riling him up a little more. ]
I probably wouldn't, no. But Jaskier seems like the type of man who does plenty of ridiculous things, so you could probably do the same thing right back to him. And besides this [ She motions to him holding her. ] isn't that ridiculous. How could he tease you about helping a hapless flower?
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[HE MEANS IT. Probably.]
Hilda, all three of us know that you are absolutely not a helpless flower. Jaskier is also aware of my romantic shortcomings and I expect would be overly encouraging if you follow my meaning.
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[ Immediately her eyes go all gooey and misty at the possible threat. Her body immediately tenses at it too and she holds onto her axe that much tighter.
Her brief wiggle of protest which would probably result in anyone but someone with an extremely firm grip or a vampire ceases. She blinks several times confusedly. ]
You don't even like me that way. And wait - you really think of it as a shortcoming?
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I won't, but you know those eyes don't work on me, correct? I can make bigger and sadder ones as a wolf.
[Wiggle or no, Alucard keeps moving on.]
I do not, but it is a cleaner label than me rehashing everything. And I've told him that I think I might be at the point to consider romantic endeavors again.
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The sad eyes linger for just a brief second longer before she dispels them with a roll of her eyes and a pout. Like sees like, apparently. ]
That’s not fair! Of course a wolf’s eyes are going to be bigger and cuter than mine.
[ The pout is two-fold however. Namely, it’s aimed at the shortcomings label. She shifts her hold on the axe to free up a hand and gives him a gentle flick on the chest. ]
Just because it’s cleaner doesn’t mean it’s right. Don’t call it that. [ That next bit though - curiosity sparks in her gaze. ] Really? That’s great, Alucard! Is there someone you have your eye on then?
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[Hilda did...did you just flick his tits? Really?
Give him a minute to look baffled about that. It means his response to the question will look baffled too, but little problems.]
Feeling ready versus feeling that there's something to act on are two different things. So no, there's not. And if there were, maybe I would feel less prepared than I hypothetically do.
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She can't help her grumbled response that sounds suspiciously like how a real friend would just let her get away with it and therefore excusing her from the responsibility of needing to find a different defence. ]
Okay, fine you got me there. You just got my hopes up that you had a little crush on someone.
[ Because as her good friend knows, there's nothing she loves more than some gossip. ]
Why would you feel less prepared though?
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do we want to try and wrap this soon before the event?
I think we can call it here.