Okay well I just want to note here that I think it's normal to feel that way. When you get something special, being afraid to lose it is natural. Poly doesn't come easily to a lot of people, you're not alone. I'd never done it myself until the dream, I've always been a monogamy kind of gal. Now I'm not sure. To be fair, I didn't think I'd ever be with another person again, so I'm sort of recalibrating.
I think telling yourself you're selfish and being hard on yourself isn't going to change how you feel, it's just going to make you feel bad about the way you feel. We can't control feelings. It's better to let yourself have them and try to move past them, rather than reject them outright.
[ There's a resignation to her words though, hinting that she is trying to accept it if not finding it difficult along with everything else swirling around in her brain. But speaking about it at length certainly doesn't help that and she's been actively working at not thinking about it in those terms. ]
You don't have to apologize to me, Hilda. I'm your friend, I'm here for you, always. I'm the one who offered to talk about these things. You can talk to me about boys or about fashion or magic or whatever floats your boat.
I will update you if there's anything to update. For now it's just us and rituals. Please be safe!
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no subject
Okay well I just want to note here that I think it's normal to feel that way. When you get something special, being afraid to lose it is natural. Poly doesn't come easily to a lot of people, you're not alone. I'd never done it myself until the dream, I've always been a monogamy kind of gal. Now I'm not sure. To be fair, I didn't think I'd ever be with another person again, so I'm sort of recalibrating.
I think telling yourself you're selfish and being hard on yourself isn't going to change how you feel, it's just going to make you feel bad about the way you feel. We can't control feelings. It's better to let yourself have them and try to move past them, rather than reject them outright.
no subject
[ There's a resignation to her words though, hinting that she is trying to accept it if not finding it difficult along with everything else swirling around in her brain. But speaking about it at length certainly doesn't help that and she's been actively working at not thinking about it in those terms. ]
𝘐 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩. 𝘚𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘺.
𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 - 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴. 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?
no subject
You don't have to apologize to me, Hilda. I'm your friend, I'm here for you, always. I'm the one who offered to talk about these things. You can talk to me about boys or about fashion or magic or whatever floats your boat.
I will update you if there's anything to update. For now it's just us and rituals. Please be safe!