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[ That was the rub, wasn’t it? The ironic dichotomy that was him. His wants rarely mattered when it came to things like this. Especially when it involved matters of the heart.
But that’s dangerous territory to tread, both for him to consider and for him to word his answer to her. She’s not going to like that truth and it’s too ingrained in him to avoid giving unpleasant truths, or finding a way to word them to steer away from the dark shadows that stained so much of the person he was behind his masks.
He doesn’t want to steal even more of her smiles, but he doesn’t know how to answer that question in a way that avoids that without outright lying to her. ]
I want her to be happy. [ It’s a quiet concession. Not quite an answer, but not a lie, either. ] What I want doesn’t really matter beyond that.
But that’s dangerous territory to tread, both for him to consider and for him to word his answer to her. She’s not going to like that truth and it’s too ingrained in him to avoid giving unpleasant truths, or finding a way to word them to steer away from the dark shadows that stained so much of the person he was behind his masks.
He doesn’t want to steal even more of her smiles, but he doesn’t know how to answer that question in a way that avoids that without outright lying to her. ]
I want her to be happy. [ It’s a quiet concession. Not quite an answer, but not a lie, either. ] What I want doesn’t really matter beyond that.
[ Sylvain's answer is enough to cause her to shift in his arms, untangling their fingers. To face him head on in a way that she may not have the courage to do had she not tried to outpace an imaginary Raphael at the Sarstina. The alcohol in her fuels an already existing desire to have him see that he deserves the world. To convince him that he deserves to be cared for in the way that he extends care to those around him. But how is the question.
Some might say that it's easier for her to quietly and doggedly continue to show him. That over time, she could show him that even if he never cared for her the way he clearly yearned for Claude. But that felt like too much effort and required more patience than drunk Hilda is willing to give at that moment. So if she didn't take the slow and steady route, what did that leave? Brute force?
But that was a terrifying thought too. It also required her to be brave, to bare her own truth too. That felt like a lot from someone who thought she was a coward. But how much more bravery did she need to expend tonight? Did that matter when she had already said as much in the bathroom? ]
That isn't an answer either. What you want does matter. You matter, Sylvain. [ Pink eyes look earnestly, fiercely into amber ones. Her hands find the place over his heart again, curling over his chest as a quiet reminder about what she had admitted earlier. That she wanted him. All of him. ] And I'm saying that as someone who cares for you. Whether that's me or Claude or whoever or whatever - what you want matters.
Some might say that it's easier for her to quietly and doggedly continue to show him. That over time, she could show him that even if he never cared for her the way he clearly yearned for Claude. But that felt like too much effort and required more patience than drunk Hilda is willing to give at that moment. So if she didn't take the slow and steady route, what did that leave? Brute force?
But that was a terrifying thought too. It also required her to be brave, to bare her own truth too. That felt like a lot from someone who thought she was a coward. But how much more bravery did she need to expend tonight? Did that matter when she had already said as much in the bathroom? ]
That isn't an answer either. What you want does matter. You matter, Sylvain. [ Pink eyes look earnestly, fiercely into amber ones. Her hands find the place over his heart again, curling over his chest as a quiet reminder about what she had admitted earlier. That she wanted him. All of him. ] And I'm saying that as someone who cares for you. Whether that's me or Claude or whoever or whatever - what you want matters.
And what if I want all of it?
[ He arches an eyebrow, capturing her hand, holding it against his chest. He tugs her closer, holding her gaze, his own intent. He rolls them, then, until she’s stretched out on the mattress beneath him, pinning her there with his own weight, a knee lodged between her thighs. ]
What if I want everything? I’ve never claimed not to be selfish, Hilda. I’m very selfish, in fact. What if I want you and Claude? What if I want more nights like the ones we spent together before? With you caught between us or one of us there instead. Because I think that was the closest thing to perfect the three of us will ever get.
[ He arches an eyebrow, capturing her hand, holding it against his chest. He tugs her closer, holding her gaze, his own intent. He rolls them, then, until she’s stretched out on the mattress beneath him, pinning her there with his own weight, a knee lodged between her thighs. ]
What if I want everything? I’ve never claimed not to be selfish, Hilda. I’m very selfish, in fact. What if I want you and Claude? What if I want more nights like the ones we spent together before? With you caught between us or one of us there instead. Because I think that was the closest thing to perfect the three of us will ever get.
[ A small breath escapes her lips as she's rolled over staring up at him, skin pebbling at the sudden rush of air as her towel unravels from around her. Cool air is a sharp contrast to the warmth that quickly pools at the pit of her stomach from the action itself. It doesn't even occur to her in that moment to be shy about being naked beneath him, or that he's barely wearing anything himself.
All she can focus on is his words and the sight of him above her.
She's selfish too, she thinks. She's greedy and she hadn't been more aware of it since arriving here. She wants them both. But she's also terrified. The realization is enough to make her balk, to turn tail and run in the other direction now that she's here again. But this feels all too much like she's standing at the edge of the cliff she had dove off with Altair and Diana on in Aquila. What's stopping her from just taking the leap? She had survived that. Surely she can survive this.
But a cliff dive into blue waters is far less intimidating than this. Diving off a cliff wouldn't shatter her soul, her body, her heart. Her feelings for Claude had almost broken her. How is she to survive Sylvain coming to a similar realization that Claude had? That she's not worthy of those affections or wants?
Her hands reach up to cup his face, her fingers running gently over his cheek with adoration. What she says is as much for herself as it is for him. ]
Then you shouldn't be afraid to take or ask for those things. But you also can't be afraid if ask the same in return.
All she can focus on is his words and the sight of him above her.
She's selfish too, she thinks. She's greedy and she hadn't been more aware of it since arriving here. She wants them both. But she's also terrified. The realization is enough to make her balk, to turn tail and run in the other direction now that she's here again. But this feels all too much like she's standing at the edge of the cliff she had dove off with Altair and Diana on in Aquila. What's stopping her from just taking the leap? She had survived that. Surely she can survive this.
But a cliff dive into blue waters is far less intimidating than this. Diving off a cliff wouldn't shatter her soul, her body, her heart. Her feelings for Claude had almost broken her. How is she to survive Sylvain coming to a similar realization that Claude had? That she's not worthy of those affections or wants?
Her hands reach up to cup his face, her fingers running gently over his cheek with adoration. What she says is as much for herself as it is for him. ]
Then you shouldn't be afraid to take or ask for those things. But you also can't be afraid if ask the same in return.
[He does Hilda, sorry.
Alucard just flat out decides to ignore the attempt to sliiiide out of their arrangement. Instead he holds his sword lightly, considering the question. And the fact that Hilda holding that axe just looks right.]
Move to attack me. We'll take it from there.
Alucard just flat out decides to ignore the attempt to sliiiide out of their arrangement. Instead he holds his sword lightly, considering the question. And the fact that Hilda holding that axe just looks right.]
Move to attack me. We'll take it from there.
I’m not afraid of you asking.
[ He turns his head jut enough to catch her hand against his lips, pressing light kisses to her fingertips as he gives a quiet, almost weary sigh. ]
I just don’t want to see you disappointed.
[ Because that’s inevitable, even if he’ll try to delay it as long as possible. With both of them. ]
[ He turns his head jut enough to catch her hand against his lips, pressing light kisses to her fingertips as he gives a quiet, almost weary sigh. ]
I just don’t want to see you disappointed.
[ Because that’s inevitable, even if he’ll try to delay it as long as possible. With both of them. ]
So it's what comes after that you're afraid of.
[ This is the same as the fear she had voiced to him earlier, isn't it? It's just wrapped up in different trappings, stemmed from different sources of hurt and worry. She can't help but give him a sad, understanding smile. ]
If that's what you're worried about, you can't disappoint anyone worse than me. You're amazing, Sylvain. I wish I cared about people half as much as you did. I wish I was as smart and attentive as you.
[ Sometimes her care felt put on. Like it was an exaggeration of the façade she built for others so they'd help her, take pity on her when she flashed them her doe eyes, so they'd never think to expect anything of her except hapless damsel. Clearly that dishonesty and burden is the reason why Claude had let Sylvain through his defences and why he had turned her away for those more capable than her. The sliver of hurt that had remained lodged in her heart like a splinter buries itself deeper. Her eyes search his face, her thumb continuing to brush gently over his cheek. ]
I won't be disappointed by what you have to show me. Claude probably won't either. [ Her other hand goes to brush gently against the earring, the flash of gold and green that now adorned his ear. It lingers there along with her gaze. They had already decided, she thinks. Sylvain spoke of wanting them both, but perhaps that's a kindness too, just for this moment. ] I'm not him but...I knew him well enough to know that the only disappointing person in his life was me. And if you're selfish, then what am I? I don't want you if it isn't all of you.
[ Perhaps that was what she really meant to say that day in his room. Letting that truth slip from her tongue is what it feels like to dive right off a proverbial cliff. ]
Don't be afraid of being honest with Claude, okay?
[ This is the same as the fear she had voiced to him earlier, isn't it? It's just wrapped up in different trappings, stemmed from different sources of hurt and worry. She can't help but give him a sad, understanding smile. ]
If that's what you're worried about, you can't disappoint anyone worse than me. You're amazing, Sylvain. I wish I cared about people half as much as you did. I wish I was as smart and attentive as you.
[ Sometimes her care felt put on. Like it was an exaggeration of the façade she built for others so they'd help her, take pity on her when she flashed them her doe eyes, so they'd never think to expect anything of her except hapless damsel. Clearly that dishonesty and burden is the reason why Claude had let Sylvain through his defences and why he had turned her away for those more capable than her. The sliver of hurt that had remained lodged in her heart like a splinter buries itself deeper. Her eyes search his face, her thumb continuing to brush gently over his cheek. ]
I won't be disappointed by what you have to show me. Claude probably won't either. [ Her other hand goes to brush gently against the earring, the flash of gold and green that now adorned his ear. It lingers there along with her gaze. They had already decided, she thinks. Sylvain spoke of wanting them both, but perhaps that's a kindness too, just for this moment. ] I'm not him but...I knew him well enough to know that the only disappointing person in his life was me. And if you're selfish, then what am I? I don't want you if it isn't all of you.
[ Perhaps that was what she really meant to say that day in his room. Letting that truth slip from her tongue is what it feels like to dive right off a proverbial cliff. ]
Don't be afraid of being honest with Claude, okay?
Hilda, there’s never been an ‘after’ with me. [ His voice holds a dry note of humor as he shakes his head slightly. ] That’s not what people are interested in me for. Or if they are, it’s been for all the worst reasons.
[ He leans into the warmth of her hand for a moment, feeling her fingers brush against the hoop of his earring. But then she says that and he spares a moment to roll his eyes up towards the ceiling. Likely begging the Goddess for patience in dealing with these two stubborn idiots. ]
You know. [ he starts that mildly enough, letting his gaze drop back to her face, one eyebrow arching upwards. ] I’m pretty sure the only person he’s disappointed in is himself. Because he thinks he can never be the person you want. And it’s gutted him.
[ Claude’s going to murder him if this ever gets back to him. He’s 100% sure he was never supposed to repeat that to Hilda, but Sylvain’s about at the end of his rope when it comes to both of them.
But he lets it go there, hopes she’ll mull that over, maybe rethink some things. He can’t fix them but he can keep trying to nudge them where he can. Until they tell him to stop or he pisses them off too far, he supposes.
He bends his head down to rest his forehead against hers again, still crouching over her on the bed and caging her in beneath him. ]
And that’s not selfish, sweetheart. I’m pretty sure that’s pretty normal, actually. But I mostly wish you could see yourself the way we see you. Because you’re amazing all on your own, just as you are. [ He brushes a kiss against the tip of her nose, not missing that admission from her, a complete contradiction to what she’d told him before.
Being honest rarely got him anywhere good, however. He has plenty of experience to back up that understanding. ]
Are you still afraid to be honest with me?
[ He leans into the warmth of her hand for a moment, feeling her fingers brush against the hoop of his earring. But then she says that and he spares a moment to roll his eyes up towards the ceiling. Likely begging the Goddess for patience in dealing with these two stubborn idiots. ]
You know. [ he starts that mildly enough, letting his gaze drop back to her face, one eyebrow arching upwards. ] I’m pretty sure the only person he’s disappointed in is himself. Because he thinks he can never be the person you want. And it’s gutted him.
[ Claude’s going to murder him if this ever gets back to him. He’s 100% sure he was never supposed to repeat that to Hilda, but Sylvain’s about at the end of his rope when it comes to both of them.
But he lets it go there, hopes she’ll mull that over, maybe rethink some things. He can’t fix them but he can keep trying to nudge them where he can. Until they tell him to stop or he pisses them off too far, he supposes.
He bends his head down to rest his forehead against hers again, still crouching over her on the bed and caging her in beneath him. ]
And that’s not selfish, sweetheart. I’m pretty sure that’s pretty normal, actually. But I mostly wish you could see yourself the way we see you. Because you’re amazing all on your own, just as you are. [ He brushes a kiss against the tip of her nose, not missing that admission from her, a complete contradiction to what she’d told him before.
Being honest rarely got him anywhere good, however. He has plenty of experience to back up that understanding. ]
Are you still afraid to be honest with me?
[ What he says confuses her. There's nothing she can think of that she would gain from wanting Sylvain. They aren't in Fodlan; there are no lands to join or politics to play. If there is anything that either of them would be gaining here in Abraxas, it would be Sylvain gaining a burden in the form of her.
Sincerity turns to annoyance when she spots Sylvain's eyeroll heavenward. Here she is trying to be serious and he's rolling his eyes at something she'd said. She barely has enough time to comprehend what he says about Claude being disappointed that he isn't what she wants him to be but she does have enough sense to immediately pinch Sylvain's cheek. Why did it feel like he was laughing at her? If Sylvain thought Claude was going to murder him, he might not even get that far if she murdered him first. There's some heat to her voice as she tugs at his cheek partly aimed at his eyeroll and partly fuelled by a truth she's since convinced herself of. ]
He doesn't care what I think because I don't mean anything to him. He made that pretty clear.
[ But she cared what Claude thought of her. That's why it had hurt so much to hear that he thought she had no substance and had nothing between her ears except air. Even that hadn't been enough to stop her from admiring him for who he was even after understanding that he made himself difficult to get to know by design. So did Sylvain, she realizes hazily. Is that why they both didn't want her? Because she was just a pretty thing to be put on a shelf with no other useful skills to speak of? Because she didn't have a brave, bleeding heart? Or was it because she wasn't some intriguing puzzle to solve?
Before she can question it further he's closing the space between them and her breath catches in her throat. Her hand relinquishes his cheek, going instead to slide into the hair at the nape of his neck. She tells herself her breathlessness has nothing to do with his question or the way she can make out the golden flecks in his eyes, and that she's just caught off guard. ]
That depends. Do you think I'm interested in you for the wrong reasons the way that others are?
Sincerity turns to annoyance when she spots Sylvain's eyeroll heavenward. Here she is trying to be serious and he's rolling his eyes at something she'd said. She barely has enough time to comprehend what he says about Claude being disappointed that he isn't what she wants him to be but she does have enough sense to immediately pinch Sylvain's cheek. Why did it feel like he was laughing at her? If Sylvain thought Claude was going to murder him, he might not even get that far if she murdered him first. There's some heat to her voice as she tugs at his cheek partly aimed at his eyeroll and partly fuelled by a truth she's since convinced herself of. ]
He doesn't care what I think because I don't mean anything to him. He made that pretty clear.
[ But she cared what Claude thought of her. That's why it had hurt so much to hear that he thought she had no substance and had nothing between her ears except air. Even that hadn't been enough to stop her from admiring him for who he was even after understanding that he made himself difficult to get to know by design. So did Sylvain, she realizes hazily. Is that why they both didn't want her? Because she was just a pretty thing to be put on a shelf with no other useful skills to speak of? Because she didn't have a brave, bleeding heart? Or was it because she wasn't some intriguing puzzle to solve?
Before she can question it further he's closing the space between them and her breath catches in her throat. Her hand relinquishes his cheek, going instead to slide into the hair at the nape of his neck. She tells herself her breathlessness has nothing to do with his question or the way she can make out the golden flecks in his eyes, and that she's just caught off guard. ]
That depends. Do you think I'm interested in you for the wrong reasons the way that others are?
No.
[ That answer, at least, comes immediately. Succinct and honest.
He lets his eyes slide shut when she slides fingers into his hair, tangling them there in way that almost always has him going boneless at the feeling. ]
No, you’re nothing like the others, Hilda. You’ve always been special.
[ That answer, at least, comes immediately. Succinct and honest.
He lets his eyes slide shut when she slides fingers into his hair, tangling them there in way that almost always has him going boneless at the feeling. ]
No, you’re nothing like the others, Hilda. You’ve always been special.
[ Being called special isn't new. So often it fell from people's lips when they were fawning over her, to the point where it bounced off of her like the word meant nothing at all. After all, it isn't like she thinks she's anything special. They only saw what she presented to them: a delicate flower all soft without a care in the world.
But hearing the word from Sylvain's lips, she can't help but feel like it means something. Or maybe that's her heart yearning for something she can't have again. ]
So if I'm not like the others, [ If Claude isn't anything like the others - ] and you know how I feel about you and that I won't be disappointed, then what's stopping you from what you want?
[ Her fingers curl into his hair, tugging lightly signaling that he should open his eyes to look at her. If he does, he'll see that her gaze is soft. Pleading. ]
There's nothing to be afraid of.
[ She can no longer tell if she's trying to convince him or convince herself. Maybe it's both even though she knows better than to listen to her own advice. ]
But hearing the word from Sylvain's lips, she can't help but feel like it means something. Or maybe that's her heart yearning for something she can't have again. ]
So if I'm not like the others, [ If Claude isn't anything like the others - ] and you know how I feel about you and that I won't be disappointed, then what's stopping you from what you want?
[ Her fingers curl into his hair, tugging lightly signaling that he should open his eyes to look at her. If he does, he'll see that her gaze is soft. Pleading. ]
There's nothing to be afraid of.
[ She can no longer tell if she's trying to convince him or convince herself. Maybe it's both even though she knows better than to listen to her own advice. ]
[ His eyes open in time to meet her own pleading look, holding her gaze for a moment. He debates his answer to that, since just because she isn’t like the others doesn’t change what he’s like. It hasn’t ruled out the inevitable crash of reality that’s still looming in his future. But he knows she’s not going to accept that answer right now anyway. Not until it’s real.
So instead he bends his head closer to hers, his lips hovering over her own. ]
Then what are you afraid of, Hilda? What’s stopping you from taking what you want?
So instead he bends his head closer to hers, his lips hovering over her own. ]
Then what are you afraid of, Hilda? What’s stopping you from taking what you want?
[ Another version of her would sink back against the pillows as if that would somehow put more space between her and the thing she wants. That would be the rational, right thing to do. It's what this version of her should be doing, really. But she can't tear herself away, nor can she get the image of him sitting on his bed sadder than she had ever seen him out of her head.
His earring catches in the light acting as a reminder that he had already decided on someone else far more brilliant and bright than her. And despite that her body arches instinctively towards him. Maybe it's the alcohol that makes her braver than she is, or maybe it's the act of having already leapt that makes it easier to leave just a hair's breadth between their lips. ]
You asking me for my heart too.
[ She wants this to be real too. Not just a kindness, not just a desire. Real. Honest. ]
His earring catches in the light acting as a reminder that he had already decided on someone else far more brilliant and bright than her. And despite that her body arches instinctively towards him. Maybe it's the alcohol that makes her braver than she is, or maybe it's the act of having already leapt that makes it easier to leave just a hair's breadth between their lips. ]
You asking me for my heart too.
[ She wants this to be real too. Not just a kindness, not just a desire. Real. Honest. ]
[ Hilda doesn't flinch, even though yes, it some ways that does scare her. Terrifies her in fact. But that's not what she had meant when she said it. ]
No, that's what's stopping me from taking what I want.
[ Her hand cards gently through his hair, voice quiet but steady. ]
I told you I was selfish too. I want all of you. I want to know you want all of me too.
[ And if he didn't then she would survive. She could live through a broken heart, couldn't she? So long as she knew that the two people that were the most important to her here in Abraxas were happy that's all that mattered to her. ]
No, that's what's stopping me from taking what I want.
[ Her hand cards gently through his hair, voice quiet but steady. ]
I told you I was selfish too. I want all of you. I want to know you want all of me too.
[ And if he didn't then she would survive. She could live through a broken heart, couldn't she? So long as she knew that the two people that were the most important to her here in Abraxas were happy that's all that mattered to her. ]
[ Was it a bad sign he felt guilty already? Probably. She deserved better than this. Better than him. If he gave her anything of him, it was just going to blow the door open that much wider for him to fuck this up.
But he also hadn’t been lying when he’d told her he had a hard time denying her anything. That was still true. He still wanted this, even if he knew there was no way this could end well. At best, he could find a way to mitigate the damage to her when it did. Maybe by then she and Claude would be talking again, closer. At least his inevitable screw up might do some good. He tries not to think of all the ways it could make it so much worse. ]
I want everything you’re willing to give me, Hilda. [That much, at least, is still the truth. He slides a finger along her jaw, keeping her face directed towards him. ] But I want a promise from you.
But he also hadn’t been lying when he’d told her he had a hard time denying her anything. That was still true. He still wanted this, even if he knew there was no way this could end well. At best, he could find a way to mitigate the damage to her when it did. Maybe by then she and Claude would be talking again, closer. At least his inevitable screw up might do some good. He tries not to think of all the ways it could make it so much worse. ]
I want everything you’re willing to give me, Hilda. [That much, at least, is still the truth. He slides a finger along her jaw, keeping her face directed towards him. ] But I want a promise from you.
[ It isn't the answer she hopes for. It's another side step around a hazy truth that she's been going back and forth on ever since that day. That doesn't give her anymore clarity. His avoidance only urges the sliver of hurt a little bit deeper, like it hadn't already made it all the way through her heart and taken root. Could hurt compound like that? It certainly felt that way.
She tries not to let it show even as she lets her back fall against the mattress again. ]
What is it?
She tries not to let it show even as she lets her back fall against the mattress again. ]
What is it?
[ He can practically taste her disappointment like a bitter bite on the back of his tongue. He almost laughs - not in humor, but because he’d managed to avoid picking up on what that particular emotion felt like since he’d gotten this strange magical ability. Ironic, when it had once been the emotion he recognized first and the most often, if only from so much frequent exposure to it.
He definitely didn’t like it any better now that he could feel it compounded by magic.
Hating that he was already fucking this up, he rethinks what he’d been about to ask her and eventually just shakes his head, shoulders slumping a little. He was tired of constantly making this worse, even if that felt like it was all he’d been doing for weeks now. With both Claude and her.
So instead, he just casts her a small smile and gathers her up in his arms again, rolling over onto his side so he can go back to cuddling her. He presses a kiss to her forehead, wrapping snugly around her. ]
Nevermind. It’s not important. I know that wasn’t the answer you wanted to hear, though. I’ll try and do better. Because you do deserve everything. I’m just… not sure there’s enough of me to fill that up.
He definitely didn’t like it any better now that he could feel it compounded by magic.
Hating that he was already fucking this up, he rethinks what he’d been about to ask her and eventually just shakes his head, shoulders slumping a little. He was tired of constantly making this worse, even if that felt like it was all he’d been doing for weeks now. With both Claude and her.
So instead, he just casts her a small smile and gathers her up in his arms again, rolling over onto his side so he can go back to cuddling her. He presses a kiss to her forehead, wrapping snugly around her. ]
Nevermind. It’s not important. I know that wasn’t the answer you wanted to hear, though. I’ll try and do better. Because you do deserve everything. I’m just… not sure there’s enough of me to fill that up.
[ Ugh. Friendship is a real drag sometimes.
Hilda gives Alucard a long, weary stare as she hefts the axe over her shoulder. She can't tell if no training exercise is a better or worse scenario. Steve always had a plan for their training sessions and while there was some uniformity to those sessions, it was purposefully not the same by design because she had a distinct feeling that Steve had wizened up to the fact that if he did that, she'd be bored and sweaty. A dangerous combination than just one or the other, really.
The last time she had picked up her axe had been in the mountains attempting to track down the taken Summoned. She'd had to clean the blood and gore off of its blade until there had been no trace of it left and that had been such a chore. She isn't used to going so long without picking one up but it immediately feels familiar in her hands. Is she supposed to feel good about that?
Before she can think too long about it she dashes towards him, hands gripping the haft and taking a swing towards his legs that she expects him to counter. ]
Hilda gives Alucard a long, weary stare as she hefts the axe over her shoulder. She can't tell if no training exercise is a better or worse scenario. Steve always had a plan for their training sessions and while there was some uniformity to those sessions, it was purposefully not the same by design because she had a distinct feeling that Steve had wizened up to the fact that if he did that, she'd be bored and sweaty. A dangerous combination than just one or the other, really.
The last time she had picked up her axe had been in the mountains attempting to track down the taken Summoned. She'd had to clean the blood and gore off of its blade until there had been no trace of it left and that had been such a chore. She isn't used to going so long without picking one up but it immediately feels familiar in her hands. Is she supposed to feel good about that?
Before she can think too long about it she dashes towards him, hands gripping the haft and taking a swing towards his legs that she expects him to counter. ]
[ The smile that follows the slump of his shoulders doesn't go unnoticed and she frowns even as she's tucked carefully into his arms and brought close to his chest again.
Of course she had been disappointed in the response, but that didn't mean that she was disappointed in him. Just because she had already tempered her expectations, had been half expecting him to hesitate because she's convinced his feelings are for Claude - someone who is vastly deserving of his affections, didn't mean that she faulted him for it. She no longer had the energy to play a woman scorned despite what her jealous, wanting heart urged her to do. ]
Stop that. You're enough, Sylvain - it's me that isn't.
[ She shifts herself up the mattress so she's eye level with him. Despite the unwavering resolve in her gaze, the pleading look still remains. ]
Please tell me what it is. It's important to me. You're important to me.
Of course she had been disappointed in the response, but that didn't mean that she was disappointed in him. Just because she had already tempered her expectations, had been half expecting him to hesitate because she's convinced his feelings are for Claude - someone who is vastly deserving of his affections, didn't mean that she faulted him for it. She no longer had the energy to play a woman scorned despite what her jealous, wanting heart urged her to do. ]
Stop that. You're enough, Sylvain - it's me that isn't.
[ She shifts herself up the mattress so she's eye level with him. Despite the unwavering resolve in her gaze, the pleading look still remains. ]
Please tell me what it is. It's important to me. You're important to me.
[Alucard waits patiently for Hilda to decide what her first move will be. He's not thinking of this as training with drills and repeated actions. No uniformity. This is just a fight between friends, which means friends don't hold back their stupid vampire tricks.
Which is to say that where Alucard is one moment when Hilda swings towards his legs that...
...he's behind her, his left hand grabbing onto her right shoulder with the intent to throw her off balance.]
Over here.
Which is to say that where Alucard is one moment when Hilda swings towards his legs that...
...he's behind her, his left hand grabbing onto her right shoulder with the intent to throw her off balance.]
Over here.
Wha -
[ It wasn't like she was going for a swing with intent, but instead of the clash of metal, she's met with air. When she realizes that Alucard has appeared behind her instead she staggers forward due to all her forward momentum. Years of grappling practice tells her that she could grab a hold of his wrist but for that she'd have to drop her axe. And frankly, a wrestling match sounds far less appealing than sparring.
She stumbles forward before turning around to look at him. Hilda doesn't go so far as to stomp her feet but the spirit of it is there in her voice. ]
That's not fair! How am I supposed to spar with you if you're just going to use your vampire skills?
[ Her Crest might be able to help with some of that but it had clearly been too fast for it to comprehend. ]
[ It wasn't like she was going for a swing with intent, but instead of the clash of metal, she's met with air. When she realizes that Alucard has appeared behind her instead she staggers forward due to all her forward momentum. Years of grappling practice tells her that she could grab a hold of his wrist but for that she'd have to drop her axe. And frankly, a wrestling match sounds far less appealing than sparring.
She stumbles forward before turning around to look at him. Hilda doesn't go so far as to stomp her feet but the spirit of it is there in her voice. ]
That's not fair! How am I supposed to spar with you if you're just going to use your vampire skills?
[ Her Crest might be able to help with some of that but it had clearly been too fast for it to comprehend. ]
You didn't say that I couldn't.
[He's smiling. He looks smug. He is being very, very rude about it and absolutely does not care.
But he does take the point.]
But if you insist.
[He's smiling. He looks smug. He is being very, very rude about it and absolutely does not care.
But he does take the point.]
But if you insist.
[ Hilda's quick to narrow her eyes at the response. Vampire or not, he's still being such a man right now. ]
I didn't think it needed saying.
[ She gives him a strong poke in the chest that is probably unlikely to do anything before stepping back to create space between them again. ]
You come at me this time.
I didn't think it needed saying.
[ She gives him a strong poke in the chest that is probably unlikely to do anything before stepping back to create space between them again. ]
You come at me this time.
[ His fingers catch her chin between his thumb and forefinger, holding her still. ]
If I can’t say it, you’re not allowed to, either. You’re so much more than you know, Hilda. It’s a travesty that you don’t seem to know that. [ Which baffles him a little, actually. He knows this isn’t an act like he would suspect of so many playing at it, but he can feel it emanating from her and he hated that she felt she wasn’t enough.
He’s still not sure asking what he’s about to is a good idea. This could backfire horribly, just as so many of his other attempts have lately. But he can’t back out of it again without making her feel bad so he takes a deep breath and braces himself for her reaction. ]
I want you to talk to Claude. Like this. A genuine conversation, nothing but honesty between you. I know it’s not the same, but I think it’s important you both try. [ He slides his thumb against her jaw, his dark eyes searching her face, a shadow of sadness lurking there. ] You’re important to me, too. Both of you are. And it’s killing me that you both are still so hurt. I think you’re both aching from missing the other, but that’s not going to change if you two keep pretending the other one doesn’t exist.
If I can’t say it, you’re not allowed to, either. You’re so much more than you know, Hilda. It’s a travesty that you don’t seem to know that. [ Which baffles him a little, actually. He knows this isn’t an act like he would suspect of so many playing at it, but he can feel it emanating from her and he hated that she felt she wasn’t enough.
He’s still not sure asking what he’s about to is a good idea. This could backfire horribly, just as so many of his other attempts have lately. But he can’t back out of it again without making her feel bad so he takes a deep breath and braces himself for her reaction. ]
I want you to talk to Claude. Like this. A genuine conversation, nothing but honesty between you. I know it’s not the same, but I think it’s important you both try. [ He slides his thumb against her jaw, his dark eyes searching her face, a shadow of sadness lurking there. ] You’re important to me, too. Both of you are. And it’s killing me that you both are still so hurt. I think you’re both aching from missing the other, but that’s not going to change if you two keep pretending the other one doesn’t exist.
Edited 2023-08-12 19:21 (UTC)
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