I don't want to.

[ She sounds petulant and she knows it, but she can't bring herself care. All of her annoyance is aimed at herself, none of it aimed at him.

Her embarrassment makes its way down her neck, fuelling her hold on her legs. Her voice wobbles. ]

I shouldn't have said that. Of course you wouldn't believe me after what I said to you – it's so selfish of me.

[ She's tired of being selfish, she thinks. Of being so greedy and thinking that her life would always be the way it would be if she were home. ]